an excellent article on how to parent shame-free. “Shameful discipline undermines the emotional connection we have with out kids and instead gives them a sense that they are unworthy of love and belonging”
Brené Brown has been on my iPod a lot lately. Between Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting, and The Power of Vulnerability, her work has had an influence on my life. Brené is a researcher from the University of Houston who studies things that are not easily studied: shame, vulnerability, and courage. Not things that are easy to talk about, either. But things that affect the quality of our lives, and things that are imperative to consider when it comes to raising children.
The underlying mantra of positive parenting is “connection before correction.” This means that any ‘correcting’ (teaching, guiding, etc.) that a parent must do won’t happen effectively unless a strong relationship is in place first. It means the degree of correction depends on the strength of connection, and only when a child feels a sense of belonging; a sense of significance; a sense of attachment does…
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