Dead Fish

Allie and typically hazardous are both brilliant 😀

Typically Hazardous

I noticed something was off this weekend but it really hit me Sunday night.

Allie Brosh of Hypebole and a Half did a brilliant article about depression and gave the world dead fish.

Basically, being depressed is like having dead fish that no one else admits are dead.


I noticed that lately, my fish were kinda dead.


Not just dead. Stinky dead. I’ve had dead fish before, though, so I tried to think…what had I missed?


I’d taken my meds, written, been social when possible… Why the hell were all my fish dead? But I noticed something I sometimes overlook: if I care enough to wonder why the fish have died, all the fish may not be dead…


Sure enough, one fish was still swimming. Still trying. So I did what anyone would do in that situation:


We suited up. C’mon, fish. It’s you and me against the whole damn…

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7 thoughts on “Dead Fish

  1. Ahab

    I’ve loved Hyperbole and a Half’s posts on depression. They convey the realities of depression (and the frustration of dealing with people who don’t get it) in a very creative way.

  2. Sheldon

    I read the Hyperbole and a Half article several weeks ago, and she really captured in words what it’s like to be at the bottom of depression, when I was at my worst with the emotional symptoms about 4 years ago, that’s what I felt like, just dead inside.

    Now, I have more the physical, rather than emotional problems, pain, fatigue, etc. I just started medication this week, and I hope it works.

    1. lanamhobbs Post author

      Do you find that sometimes with depression you have more of the physical symptoms even if the emotional ones aren’t so unbearable? It’s where I’m at now and I’m not positive if it’s depression. Depression can vary so much it confuses me…

  3. Sheldon

    Oh yes, I’ll feel fine emotionally, but physical I feel like crap. Pain, stiffness, or muscle weakness, fatigue, a combination of several at once, I feel like I’m just dragging myself through the day. The reason how I can tell it’s depression instead of a response to something I’ve done physically is that the depression pain will not respond, or barely responds to over the counter pain medication, I gave up on using it a long time ago, it does no good.

    What helps in the morning is getting in the shower, turn up the heat as hot as I can stand it, and soak for 20-30 minutes.

    1. lanamhobbs Post author

      Very interesting. I feel like that sometimes and it seems like depression but I’ve never been sure. I don’t find Tylenol etc, useful either. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  4. Amy Kathryn

    I saw that “Dead Fish” cartoon a few weeks ago, and it really made me think. Growing up as a Christian, I was generally led to believe that depression was at least borderline sinful. If you’re depressed, you should change your attitude, read your Bible more. After all, God gives you joy, right?

    And as an American, and a sort of “hardworking Midwesterner,” failure of any sort, especially an emotional sort, also seemed like an unpardonable weakness. If you’re down, why then, buck up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

    This made it so hard when I went through a difficult time in my life and struggled intensely with depression, even to the point of occasionally wishing to just end everything.

    But now, I think, why did I feel so much shame in being depressed? As a Christian, especially, I would tell someone now, that God wants you to care for yourself and certainly to find help. I wish I had…I’m certain it would have helped me navigate through what I was going through so much better.

    Anyway, a bit off topic, probably, but this is what this made me think of!

    1. lanamhobbs Post author

      I know exactly how you feel. I was an undiagnosed bipolar 2 Christian for years and felt like I was a bad person. Now I am (not a christian anymore) finally getting help 🙂 I agree, any good God would want you to find help to be whole.


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